log web page visits Blaaarrgh!: 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005

土曜日, 9月 24, 2005

Strength in need, counselor in perplexity, comfort in sorrow, companion in joy

Security Husband and I came to the conclusion earlier this week that perhaps nearly a month of extended being apart, prefaced several months of stressed work schedules may have been rather detrimental to our relationship. We have gotten used to lifestyles that are in fact not mutually beneficial to one another, and the price we have paid is in us.

Like the taste of a good wine in a forgotten bottle. When did I forget how to lose myself in his eyes? The time we have invested in one another springs back in us, in resilience to all the new challenges we face.

水曜日, 9月 14, 2005

Thoughts

I'm finally heading home after two weeks of traveling from Chicago to the East Coast of the USA and then back again. I've been to several schools that I'm considering for a PhD program. I wish I had more time, as I was completely jet lagged for the first three schools I visited. I've found at least two schools that I could be happy spending five or six years working. It was also good see my parents, my wife's parents, my grandparents, my sister, and some of my friends in Boston.

One of the things about moving around a lot is that I know people just about everywhere I stopped. I had a friend of mine show me around Pittsburgh and treat me to lunch. I was able to spend a couple of nights with a friend in Boston and even got to see The Blue Man Group at the Charles Theatre. I recommend seeing the show if you haven't. It reminds me a lot of a modern Kraftwerk, both celebrating technology and showing the isolating effects of that same technology. I'm not going to go into details, as I don't want to give too much away, but very fun.

I'm not writing anything nearly as cool or thoughtful as The Wife these days, but I've been having some excellent discussions with friends. Actually putting down those conversations evades me at the moment; maybe, when I have some time to actually relax at home I'll feel more comfortable with them.

I board my plane in an hour and a half and need to get some reading done to keep up with my classes. The End! for now.

月曜日, 9月 12, 2005

Crafting Aliens

Knowledge of writing for an audience encourages inanity and hedging, for those who one truly is writing to are not anonymous in the slightest, and exposure is the most cardinal embarassment of the online world, when we exist in it, even if we keep one foot on dry land.

The nature of community--virtual in truth meaning "not real"--is a complicated question. [ze]DH brought up some time ago in a very insightful post about how he has changed over the years... I have tried bringing up the topic with people, but have felt very little success in pursuing it much further than poorly phrased value statements, particularly with those who share the experience. Perhaps these are questions which are generated by the communities they concern, and concern the communities they are not generated by. However, like [ze]DH, I am certain that the questions raised reflect very deeply on our perceptions of how we not only communicate, but interrelate.

Can friendships really be made over distance? We used to have penpals with people we scarcely knew, but now the thought of giving out our real addresses makes us cringe. What does it imply about people who communicate virtually (note pun) solely through text? Is it a mutually exploitative enterprise, fulfilling a base desire for companionship that removes all complications like responsibility or the old function of the community--support? We have received so much help from our community here, a community we had never thought of because it was developing alongside us. During the move, our helplessness would have been laughable, had it not been for people offering assistance, providing valuable advice, even giving us furniture and appliances, or patch of floor and hot meal. How tenuously linked we are! Yet we are drawn in some uneven webbing together, all the same. Regardless of how much the western mind values its independence, without support or a network to value our accomplishments, we falter.

Relationships are delicate things. They do not move in laws and courts. They are sustained by the most strange sensitivies of human interaction and neglect. They are curious.

This would be incomplete (and I fear will remain incomplete anyway, as my moments of extemporizing in this forum are rather infrequent), without referencing the concept of family. Of environment. Of upbringing. So I have referenced it, and all the things that beg to be said are impossible to articulate before bedtime. Every metaphor I have tried to write them in has fallen apart in a mess of leaves and wings and roads and music. But it is something I am thinking about.

I referred to Minakuchi as "home" today, without even thinking about it. It really has become our Japanese furusato,... we haven't been back yet. We need to plan a satogaeri soon. Pieces and stages of life seldom transition like chapters, and perhaps it is foolish to think of them in such breakable pieces as that at all. All of it is as sincerely part of me as everything else, everyone else. And distance does not change these things, just stretches out the webbing a bit more, but the connection never breaks, not really.

金曜日, 9月 09, 2005

Lessons learned over the past month... TWO MONTHS?!

NTT is out to gouge you for money.
We uh, hehe, actually DO have a volume control for our doorbell. So, it was actually our fault that we missed the phone line inspection guys the second time. BUT IT WAS THEIR FAULT THE FIRST TIME!!!
The third time is the charm. "TillalillaLING!!"
Little kids are cute.
Little kids are hellions.
Little kids freak out when Mommy goes missing. In the space of one second.
Teaching little kids may be my calling: I get to make faces, sounds, voices, pictures, sing, dance, roll around... >@_@<
Teaching little kids requires a mind of STEEL. Discipline is hard.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And makes you live over at your friends' apartment and play bawk-bawk with their cat.
I actually do like Indiana. But not politically.
The guy I sat next to on the plane on the way back did things the flight attendant had never seen before... and he told me so.
Borrowing a friend's How to Draw Manga books is not actually dorky. And it isn't nerdy, either. And... it... uh... isn't pathetic, either. DON'T JUDGE MEeeee!!! >o<

Okay, I have a LOT more lessons than that!!! But that is the short, non-philosophical list. More of substance to come, I am sure. Under a week until my love returns to me. Call me Solvejg.